Makeup & Motherhood

Just making it up as I go along!

Monday, July 17, 2006

There Is No Off Switch.

My children may be the light of my life, but there is no off switch to motherhood. Motherhood is a full time 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, all consuming task. It's hard. Brutally hard at times. Other times motherhood is easy for me. I look at my children and think about how lucky I am that I have two healthy beautiful daughters. Not everyone has that opportunity. Other times like today, I am so beat down by "my job" as a mother that I can hardly see strait, and I am shaking with exhaustion.

I just had to rock my 14 month old to sleep, and it's 9:30. Bedtime at our house is 7pm. Unfortunately she is not a classically good sleeper like her older sister. Right now she is teething and wakes up easily. Plus she has a cold. Not a good combination for sleep. We have been trying to get her to go to bed since 7. Friends of mine tell me to just let her cry herself to sleep. I know it's just separation aniexty because she knows she's up there in her crib alone and we are downstairs. So I let her cry a few minutes, 15 at the most. It's the most I can stand. I then go upstairs and rest my hand on her tummy and she stops crying. Sometimes she will even fall back asleep, but the moment I leave the room, she knows. And then the crying begins again. Eventually I will pick her up, and she gratefully rests her head on my chest, and it feels like her whole body is just relaxed and peaceful against mine. I am not one of those big attachment parents. I didn't breastfeed, have a baby sling, or co-sleep. I don't knock parents who do those things, but it's not my style. My older daughter was more independent. I can't remember her as a baby ever resting her head on my shoulder. My younger daughter is more clingy, my little koala baby.

Now that it is almost 10pm, I am going to go try to read a magazine and relax for the first time today since 7am. I know my baby will probably wake up again sometime tonight and break time will be over. I will have to hold her. I will want to hold her. This job never ends, and that's a good thing.

*Beauty Tip* Deep condition while you sleep, if you can get any as a parent, with my favorite hair mask, Kerastase Masquintense($40) for dry hair. Just wash and towel dry and apply a thick layer of the conditioner and comb through. Rinse out in the morning and bask in the softness of your hair.


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